Thinking about things on a Sunday afternoon...

I had a friend come over this afternoon and we were sitting on the balcony in the sun when he said 'you know what? this has been my biggest year yet, and it hasn't even finished'. I felt like it was a big year too. Probably my largest ever. But it was a familiar feeling.

Since I was 18 I feel like each year brings greater challenges, larger goals and fighting more difficult fears as we negotiate our vulnerabilities and weaknesses and try to get by. It made me wonder how I would feel if I was to look back on the year and thought 'not my best year, a little boring actually'... and I'm sure one year I will.

In the meantime, this year was my second interstate move, the first time I lived in Sydney, a whole bunch of family time, my first role outside of generalist HR and then a very swift move back, my first year as a proud uncle and all things going well, will be the first year I have participated in an ocean swim, or any major sporting event for that matter.

Next year I have plans to travel around the world for three months and I will start saving to buy a property. The year after I already have preliminary plans for further travel through south-east Asia and hopefully ready to make the move on that property. So for the time being, I'm not worried about having a small year, but one day it will come, and when it does, I think I'll be ready for the break.

This post wouldn't be complete without this wonderful clip of Missy.

October 2010. Over.

We're amazing and nobody cares.

Australia is leading the Medal tally at the Commonwealth Games in Delhi.

As of today Australia is strongly placed in number 1 position with 64 Gold Medals and 143 overall. Our closest competitor is India with 30 Gold Medals and 81 Overall.

Not only are we winning, we are almost embarrassing other nations. I completely don't get it, why does no one care? If India was winning by that sort of a margin, we'd assume they were cheating and they would be celebrating like crazy. We get a small update on news and everyone sort of ignores it. Amazing.



I would like to say right here, right now, that Australian Athlete's are amazing. We have some of the most talented athletes in the world and they do a wonderful job. We live in a very lucky country and I'm proud to be part of it.

Go Aussie's!

Performance Ratings

Something that I hear constantly in my job is how poorly our company uses performance ratings.

I'm constantly asked if they are under review and if we could replace them with new more contemporary language. I always have to look at them with my 'I understand, but sorry' face and explain that we are stuck with it for now due to our old-school mentality and risk aversion.

Meanwhile if the decision was up to me, we would change them to this!

1. EX - Exceptional - if repeated ratings at this level then an indication that the role is too small for the employee and should move to a larger role.

would change to

HMB - Holy Mackerel Batman! - You are a legend and a star. You are always doing stuff way better than we thought you ever could. Thank you! If you hang around we'll pimp your career crazy style.

2. FE - Frequently Exceeds expectations - This rating indicates the employee is often exceeding expectations. Frequent ratings at this level indicate a potential future move to a larger role.

would change to

SS - Super Star - We are so lucky to have you on the team, you are always doing very well and often surprise us with your amazing performance. We consider you to be a very important contributor to our team, thanks, we couldn't have done it without you.

3. FS - Fully Satisfactory - The individual is mastering all requirements of the current role.

changes to

WAH - What a Hero - You have managed to meet every expectation of you in this role. You've done a great job and your future here looks bright! Keep up the great work!

4. PS - Partially Satisfactory - Indicates employee is only meeting some of the requirements of the role or is too new to be fully up to speed just yet.

changes to

YAT - You're almost there! - You are getting the hang of things around here, which is no easy feat. By this time next year, with a bit of drive and determination, you'll be leaping in the air and clicking your heals together in no time.

5. NS - Not Satisfactory - Performance has not yet met the required standards of performance.

to...

OO - Ot oh... - Wow, something went wrong. Either we're not giving you the support that you need or the job your in may not play to your strengths. Let's have a chat about it...


Performance management exists to engage and focus employees and I think using fun and interesting language contributes massively to the understanding and outcomes of this process.

After all, who wants to be 'fully satisfactory'? It's like saying, "Hi, you are very average. Thank you."

yuck.

I love you.

My friend Ally Kay recently blogged about saying 'I love you' to family. It is a very funny and heart felt post (go Ally!). Read it here, it's awesome.



Every now and then I like to pull out the 'I love you's' on unsuspecting victims and see how they react. Only to people I actually love though of course. I read a book once called 'The Five Love Languages' which talked about how we give and receive love in different ways. Basically we all have a dominant way of giving and receiving love, and the others, to a lesser extent. We also usually have one or two that we react negatively to. Where there is confusion in relationships is when we don't properly understand the love language of our friends or partner.

The love languages are:
1. Word of Affirmation - using words like 'I love you' to express love
2. Physical Touch - not sex, but actually that is a form of it. Giving someone a hug, leaning on them or just being 'touchy' to show love.
3. Quality Time - You may notice it's not just 'time', but 'quality'\ time'. Like spending the afternoon on the couch, drinking tea and talking deeply about life type time.
4. Acts of Service - Doing something for someone or having someone do something for you.
5. Gifts - The giving of something to someone (usually special, not a token birthday gift, although I guess this is a form of it)

Knowing the preferences of your partners and friends helps you show love in a way which they can acknowledge and respond well to. For example, if I was an 'acts of service' person and you came over and cleaned the dishes for me, I would feel more loved than if you bought a gift for me. Makes perfect sense I reckon.

For the record, I'm a Quality Time and Physical Touch type. I really don't respond well to gifts (although I am surprised often how awesome they can be), and I feel uncomfortable with acts of service.

The one I love to toy with (and the purpose of this post) is Words of Affirmation. Usually when I usually spring this on someone in a telephone call, the friend on the other end would end the call within about 1 or 2 minutes because they feel a little uncomfortable. In a card, far less effect. In person, similar awkwardness to the phone call, but they have no where to run. I believe that secretly we all love to be told that we are loved, and even if we are awkward at the time, afterwards we probably get a whole bunch of warm fuzzies from it. Then of course, there are the people that can't be told enough.

Someone smart in a documentary I once watched said 'when you are lying on your death bed, you won't be thinking "gee I've lived in some lovely homes and driven some nice cars, I really loved my job and wished I had some more time to work a little more". No. Instead the more likely thought would be "do the people I love, know that I love them? Have I told them enough or done enough to show how much I care? Do they know who I truly am? Have I shared this with them?"

Find someone in your life who you love and just tell them. It will probably be met with dead silence like in Ally's blog, or they'll attempt to end the conversation quickly, but it's probably the start of something really important and special for your relationship, and they will definitely get those warm fuzzies later.

I just can't get you out of my head...

Ever have one of those days where a pop song just haunts your every thought? Today is one of those days for me.

Only, this time it's a bit country. It's this song...



It won't leave me alone. What's your latest pain in the ear?

We've all been there...

Ever worked with anyone where you wondered how the hell they manage to behave in the way they do and keep their job? Sick of people telling you how busy they are? Bored with the constant ramblings of incompetent wankers with massive egos?

I think we have all been there. That's why the show 'Hollowmen' was so successful. It made fun of the government for their inability to do anything but somehow we all sort of related to it. I laughed at Hollowmen but I actually cringed a little as well, because it reminded me so much of work. We experience it every day.

Below is a hypothetical interaction between two colleagues. The conversation is based around a sports broadcast for a television network but feel free to adjust it to think about it in the workplace you work in. If you ever needed more reason to become self employed and never interact with another colleague again...

On setting goals

I used to think that setting goals was a bit wanky. My default position being that whatever will happen will happen. However, one new years eve I found myself surrounded by friends sharing their new years resolution and I felt a bit left out so I made something up. The conversation went on to discuss last years resolution and whether or not they had been successful. I noticed they were discussing things a bit beyond giving up smoking or exercising more (although these did feature a little bit). I was fascinated by their talk of having goals and working toward them.

Through my uni degree I was forced to think about goal setting and where I wanted to take my career. I set up some goals with some things that I couldn't really relate to or I didn't think were really aligned with anything I was interested in, just because they sounded good or I thought they would be good goals to have. I never reached these goals, nor am I interested in reaching them now.

When I started working I was a little overwhelmed by the learning curve in my role and as part of my support in getting up to speed I engaged a mentor. My mentor tried the goal thing again, but this time with a bit of a twist. I was asked to think about how I would feel as I reached these goals and at what points I would determine whether I was on track or not. My goals started with one big one and then split up into categories and then down into smaller more achievable bits. This time the goals were very honest and very much aligned to exactly what I wanted to do.

I had set my goals for a reasonably long timeframe. Probably 18 months to two years (long compared to my attention span). Interestingly, I had succeded in all my goals that I had set within about 6 months. When I looked back at these goals I couldn't believe I had achieved them all and gotten to where I had in such a short time.

I did the natural step. I didn't set anymore. I didn't want to run the risk of not achieving these ones as well. Life went on pretty stagnant for another two years. At the start of this year I got out my goal setting sheet (the same one) and set some for this year (it was prompted by an executive at work asking if I had set them for this year yet... like obviously everyone does them...).

Turns out goal setting works well for me. It's September and all of the goals were set as a stretch goal or target. All of them have been achieved. Again. Well before I hoped they would be or right on time. This time instead of just ignoring the goal setting thing, I have set new ones immediately. I now realise that perhaps the first time wasn't a fluke and perhaps it's actually good for me.

I asked my friend what her goals were yesterday. Her response:
"um... well... I'm just going to poke around in the dark and see what's squishy. Probably stop for a bit and have a glass of wine and then go in for another poke".

It raised another question for me. Is the process of goal setting good for everyone and every personality type? and if not, then what other things do people do to be successful at realising their hopes and dreams...

Something to ponder.

Spring into SPRING!

Spring is a great time of year. We all start to defrost and remember what it was like to be outside again. It's a time of famous racing carnivals and longer 12 hour days. A time for plants to blossom and show us their leaves again. A time to toy with the beach and flirt with swimming again. Picnics and play dates. Road trips and holiday planning. It's like Spring is to Summer what Christmas Eve is to Christmas. It's the anxious bit where things are noticeably changing and growing and becoming what will be the set up for yet another New Year!



I love Spring. I love the temperature of it. Not too hot, not too cold. I love that feeling that you can plan to be outdoors on weekends again. I love that we finally made it through winter, again. It reminds me of rooftop bars in Melbourne starting to return. Outside cinemas and festivals have already started advertising. This makes me happy.

Today is a good day! WELCOME BACK SPRING! I missed you xx

The Pale Blue Dot.

Looking for some perspective? Well here it is. This is a great video to bring our self important lives back to some form of reality.



These sort of films are very humbling and I love it. We could all be a little bit more humble at times, even me :-)

"To me, it underscores the need to deal more kindly with one and other and preserve and cherish the pale blue dot; the only home we've ever known."

We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.

This is a quote from Frank Tibolt that I read on a blog recently and it reminded me of what I was pondering over the weekend.

My brother bought a block of land last weekend. He's building a house. He has always been the type to leap into action and never waits to do proper due diligence or analyses of any decisions, big or small. As a result he has a small family, a home (which he will now sell to build a new one), a car, and happy little life of achievements. He wins some and he loses some, but he always learns a great deal.

I am quite the opposite. I see him buying a house and get inspired for about 15 minutes. I look on realestate.com for a place of my own and work out how much I can borrow. I analyse how this would impact my budget and work out what I would need to sacrifice. I try and find a mortgage broker and about then it gets too hard. I then put it all away and go get some food to eat and watch TV. It never turns into action for me. Ever. As a result it has taken me about 6 years of inspiration waves in order to make a plan to go overseas to travel. And I STILL haven't booked it yet. My brother did that at 21. Just did it. Borrowed the money and went. Paid it off when he got back and moved on to the next thing.

Sometimes it takes me so long to take action that I often wonder if I'll ever do anything!! I'm being dramatic of course but you get the point.

I figure we're all on the spectrum of consideration to action. Some of us consider things for much longer, others will just do it. My attempts are often made to stop getting into a situation where I feel I made an error. I am avoiding failing at all costs. Problem is I think failing is really important. It's when we learn the most and have the best stories to tell.

How action orientated are you? do you just leap right in? I'm thinking about leaping a bit more in the future, but I'm going to ponder it a bit more first.

Wouldn't it be nice...

One day I hope to be as helplessly happy as these Otters. It teaches me almost everything I need to know about us as animals...

If this doesn't make you smile, nothing will.

Picking your battles

I've found in my experience, knowing when to fight a battle and when to leave it is a really difficult but important skill to learn. I also think we can only learn this through trial and error. I've been part of discussions where someones career within a company has literally been written off in a single conversation. This may be a scary prospect for some people, but I find it incredibly humbling. I believe it is important to never consider your role as an entitlement.

I have always thought that I will be in employment with a company for as long as two conditions are met:
1. I'm still interested in my role and actually want to be there.
2. The company I work for still feel I am creating value and worth the money I'm paid.

I read a quote today which really inspired my thinking on this.
The squeaking wheel doesn't always get the grease. Sometimes it gets replaced.
- Vic Gold

I couldn't agree more. When working out whether or not a battle is worth fighting, I run it through a quick filter. Specifically:
1. Is the battle based on a values or moral issue which is important to me?
2. Will the battle significantly change the perception of me professionally and then how?
3. Am I willing to live with the consequences of this if it weren't to go well or the way that I expect?
4. When I look back at this in 5 years time, will I be happy with the way that I acted or spoke in this instance?

This is my filter and I think it has worked well for me in the past. Have you got a filter and has the track record been good?

I guess I also use a similar filter for battles in a social context. Just change the above as appropriate. I do find I take more risks when it relates to a social context. I wonder if that means I value my professional reputation more than how my friends perceive me, or whether I'm just more comfortable with confrontation and being honest with how I feel with my friends. Something for me to ponder more on I guess.

Stuff that matters.

I was reading through my blog list today and saw the below YouTube clip.



Basically (if you don't have the 10 minutes), it's a film of soliders coming home early and surprising their families. The expression of the first girl says it all. I was watching this film right before one of the most difficult conversations I would have to face this month and indeed probably this year. It really put into perspective what really matters and what we should really value in life. I managed to go into the meeting very calm with a clear perspective on how important this meeting REALLY was.

People who we deeply care about and obviously where this is mutual are so important for us. For some reason, as a human, we can't just latch on to anyone, we actually need to have 'our people' to be happy. Just goes to show the importance of long lasting deep relationships and the effect it can have on us when we are seperated for a while. There is something about seeing someone who is so important to us after a long period that comforts us and brings overwhelming joy.

If you don't have anyone that makes you feel this way I suggest you focus more on building those relationships. It's the best feeling in the world.

How do you feel?

Someone once said to me that people will remember how you made them feel long after they remember what you said. I really like that and often remind myself of this as in my line of work I don't often get to give a really nice message but I can at least try and make the unsavoury message less terrible just by approaching it in a way that is less confrontational and more supportive.

On the way to work this morning I was thinking about this while listening to music and realised for me music has the same quality. I remember how music makes me feel long after I remember what any of the songs were about. Some songs make me happy and wanna dance, others make me sad and want to reflect, some even take me to a place or time where I have a fond memory; not because I heard the song there, but just because it leads my unconscious mind there.

This morning I was listening to 'The Waifs'. I love listening to The Waifs. I always start with 'Crazy Train' which always makes me smile and then as album goes on it makes me think about old Queenslander homes in summer and having a beer on the deck. It takes me back to my childhood and places I went outside of Brisbane and mostly inland. There is just something about them that take me away for a while. And even better, I know that's what it does for me purposely choose that music whenever I want that experience. I'm not sure what it is about 'London Still' that makes me feel like I'm in Queensland still, but I do enjoy it. I feel then that I identify with this imagery and get a sense of who I am (or who I want to believe I am). Of course, often this is disrupted by the pushing of the crowds as I get off the train and tripping over on the stairs, face planting the concrete and then limping to the lift at work, but for that moment, that's where it takes me.

Where do The Waifs take you?

Rebuilding trust

This election has been particularly interesting for me. I've had very strong views on a number of issues and I've gone back and forth in my head over whether or not my vote will go to the Greens or Labor. Being priviledged to have experienced the media industry both through family and personal exposure I have a great deal of cynisism towards their views and the rubbish they often go on with, without any real regard for fact or truth.

This year I think the ABC have been amazing job with their coverage of the election and particularly their program Q&A which has been a regular at my place for the last 4 weeks.

Last night Julia Gillard faced the questions herself after receiving an invite from the ABC. The questions raised were gruelling and Julia was not shown them beforehand. I believe Julia often tackles questions better when she has more time to prepare her answer (and thats absolutely ok, we are all different and perform better in different circumstances depending on our personal preferences) but thought she did an amazing job at answering them on the spot.



I witnessed a PM that was compassionate and intelligent on National and World issues and I finally feel comfortable with the possible outcome of Labor being re-elected. She really is an amazing woman and not for a moment was she concerned with what any person threw her way even if the questions seemed like attacks at times. I found myself glued to the TV for the entire program and even ended up clapping with the audience. I feel like quite the nerd.

I still love Julia, I think she's great. I still can't stand Tony, he's annoying. I will be voting Greens, they like the gays and I know the vote for them will count towards Labor in the long run but if enough people vote this way it will give the Labor government something to think about re:equality for all.

My friend posted a great Tweet today "Mark Lathom is like the sideshow Bob of politics". Agreed.

Oh and Family First can go to hell. I had no idea people could possibly still have views as out of touch as this.

Marriage. A great deal of Blog.

I love finding great stuff on the net and putting it here. 2 reasons. 1. I can find it whenever I want, easily. 2. people who stumble across this page can make use of the little bit of gold that I've found and perhaps learn something from it or be inspired.

Snapdragons and Teapots blog who I follow (although don't know at all) posted a great blog on same-sex marriage laws in California. The blog is here.

What I love is the imagery of the 2nd picture and the people in the background. This alone is all the proof I need to know that something needs to be done about this in Australia. I also love what she says about marriage and how people feel about it. I whole-heartily agree.

Great blog!

Jack’s Life Lessons

1. Don’t be a jerk
2. Don’t take anyone for granted
3. Enjoy the moment
4. Be honest, always
5. Be humble
6. Be kind
7. Respect people’s wishes
8. Allow endings
9. Fail openly
10. Have an amazing haircut

I think Jack’s cool. I have these on my fridge and I look at them all the time. Sometimes we all need to be reminded of them I reckon.

Who is Jack? The guy who started Twitter. Amazing.

A Life that Matters.

There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.
All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.
It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.

Your grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will finally disappear.
So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.
It won’t matter where you came from, or on what side of the tracks you lived, at the end.

It won’t matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
Even your gender and skin colour will be irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?
What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built; not what you got, but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success, but your significance.
What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.



What will matter is not your competence, but your character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you’re gone.

What will matter is not your memories, but the memories that live in those who loved you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident.
It’s not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

While you meet something beautiful, the first thing you should do is to share it with your friends anywhere.
So that these beautiful things will be able to spread out literally around the world.

- Author Unknown -

Enjoying. Your. Self.

As I get older I find I enjoy my own company a lot more. When I was insecure and immature I used to fear being alone more than anything. I would find vacant pockets in my day and quickly fill them with catch ups and friend time. Once a friend said to me that she enjoys travelling alone and exploring by herself. Nothing used to terrify me more. Now I savour them and protect my moments alone. Being alone is wonderful. Free to feel and think as you please. Free to sit and just be. I love taking the time out to be alone and what is starting to scare me is that I just love it more and more.

I once did my Myer's Briggs profile to find out I'm an ENFP. According to the report this means I am 'spontaneous, enthusiastic, optimistic, innovative and people-centred. I value relationships and intimacy and need to know that they are making a difference in the lives of people and in the world.' I would agree with this. I have loved having relationships with partners and friends and love spending time with people. But these days my favourite time is when I'm home by myself just hanging out with me.

What I find interesting is the report on ENFPs say that my midlife (ages 35-55) tell me that my 'introverted sensing will develop. The outgoing, idealistic personality of the ENFP will continue throughout adulthood, but now their attention turns to the inner world of reality, facts, details and sensory experience. They will seek more quiet time and will focus more on health issues and on practical activities. Many ENFPs at this time will become involved in activities such as art, craft, massage, meditation, natural healing, gardening, housework, sport or dancing. Some ENFPs will become interested in writing to share what they have learned about life with others. Some become advocates for disadvantaged people. ENFPs at midlife will be more comfortable living with reality and will often find they enjoy their own company.'

I feel like I fast forwarded my development to 35. That makes me 10 years older than I am because most of what is suppose to happen is happening right now. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.

What I do know for sure is that I love this video my dear friend sent me a lot. I really love it. I think we can learn a lot from spending time by ourselves. Take 4 minutes and watch it, it's perfect.

This Weekend...

I get to return to my birth place for a quick visit.



I'm going to eat, drink and dance. I'm going to spend time with some new friends and catch up with some old friends. I'll get to run a muck around my old hometown with shiny new eyes and enjoy it for it's great weather and climate.

What's best of all, I'll get to return to my new home. A place I'm FINALLY starting to enjoy.

Happy Friday Blogger.

Be Inspired, Get Creative! And for heaven's sake, show up.

This post is for Monday mornings. This woman wrote the best seller 'Eat, Pray, Love'. Here she talks on nurturing creativity and the pressure we put on creatively gifted people. An attempt to try and understand the creative process. Here's hoping that my magic fairies soon show up to give me my burst of brilliance.

I really like her, and I really like what she had to say. I hope you do too...

Remaining Balanced in Judgement

In all my experience in case management (managing naughty employees) there is one thing that holds true every time. There are two sides to every story and the truth ALWAYS lies someplace in the middle. I remember getting dragged into meetings with management as they tell me how horrible an employee has been. How they have behaved inappropriately; how they have ignored reasonable requests and been downright distracting to the rest of the team. I used to immediately jump into action, handing out warnings to anyone who would listen to me.

What usually would eventuate is the employee would present a whole bunch of facts which were once unknown to me (strategically left out by the manager) which would either lesson the seriousness of the issues or completely eliminate them. This often resulted in some form of embarrassment to me and the manager. You would think then that I would not be quick to judge people when someone gives me their point of view on a person or their actions.

Turns out I do...

Example 1:
Recently Catherine Deveny lost her job as a columnist at The Age in Melbourne because of comments she made through Twitter during the Logies. The comments made by her were absolutely appalling. Sexually referencing Bindi Irwin, referring to Rove McManus' new wife and hoping she doesn't 'die like the last one'. You get the idea. Not nice stuff. Immediately I got on my high horse and judged her. I decided the women should be shunned from any media and that her actions were unforgivable. I felt her dismissal from The Age was completely warranted and serves her right for using her position to publicly say the things that she did.

Well.... again I took one side to the story and not once looked into her response. I did eventually come across her response to this. Surprisingly not on The Age, but rather the ABC. It's here if your interested.

In my view her response to why she acted in this way does not excuse her actions, as I still feel they were distasteful. BUT!!!! if you were to read anything Catherine Deveny had written in the last 10 years you would realise the context in which this was written. Deveny is a controversial feminist writer who believes strongly in equality for woman and the right for young ladies to not be exposed as sexual beings until they are of the right age or feel ready. Her comments were in jest to make a point.

Now when I look at this issue from a balanced perspective I think it was irrational to act on the matter to the extent The Age did but also realise why they felt forced to act in this way. I certainly don't think it is unforgivable and actually, I now follow her Twitter account and look out for her articles on the ABC. She's a very good writer.




Example 2:
Penny Wong. An Asian Lesbian Member of Federal Parliament on the front bench as the Minister for Climate Change. I previously thought she was fantastic representation. A great communicator and role model. As early as yesterday I found out that Penny Wong did not support Gay Marriage and 'toed the party line' of Labor which believes in Marriage between a man and a women which shouldn't be changed because of 'cultural, religious and historic' reasons. I was quite frustrated at this and immediately thought less of her. I wondered how someone could possibly sit in parliament as a Lesbian and not stand up for the equality of all minority groups including homosexual Australians. I decided I had no interest in her any further and considered her shameful to the GBLT community.

WELL... Last night I stumbled across 'Q and A' on the ABC (good stuff by the way, an interesting program). Funnily enough Penny Wong was apart of the panel debating different issues. A lady from the audience questioned Penny's view on same sex marriage and asked her why she supported Labor on this issue.

Penny's response bought silence to the panel and audience (for the first time in the hour long program). Penny made reference to the fact that she knows first hand what it is like to be at the hand of discrimination. The Herald Sun reported it accurately:

"By virtue of who I am, prejudice and discrimination are things I have firsthand knowledge of," she told ABC television on Monday.

"When I entered the parliament, I did actually think very carefully about how to handle being Asian and gay and in the parliament, because it hadn't been done before."

Senator Wong said that before entering public life, she decided to be "absolutely open" about who she was.

"Part of the reason I did that was because I thought it was very important to show that you should never be ashamed of who you are," she said.

As the first federal member of parliament from an Asian descent and as a Lesbian she has been subjected to discrimination both before and during her time in parliament. During her parties time in government she has seen a dramatic shift in the rights of GBLT Australians. She then rattled off a whole range of things done by the Labor government to remove the amount of discrimination against this minority group. She then went on to say that she believes that a team player is exactly that. She respects the views of her peers in this matter and at this time would support them in their views. She then got questioned by another member in the audience which put Penny in an even more difficult position when some guy on her right (Richo I think) jumped in to her defence to explain how she is only one person in a caucus of people and that whilst she does her best challenge their views in this area, at this time Labors view on marriage remained unchanged. The Herald Sun again:

"I'm amazed somewhat by these questions, really," he said.

Labor's policies to help gay de facto couples would not have happened without Senator Wong's place in the government, Mr Richardson said, adding that many ALP members were opposed to the homosexual civil rights measures.

Hmmm... I hadn't provided a second of thought to how it must feel to be Penny Wong on the front bench of the Labor government. I didn't sympathise with the challenges coming her way for even a moment. I jumped in to judge her and wrongly so. Her performance on 'Q and A' was one of the best I've seen in a Minister for a very long time and her response to why she felt this way, in my view, was completely justified. I'm not saying I agree with Labor's view on this, because I absolutely don't, but I do now understand her point of view. Had this been an employee warning meeting, I would have cancelled the formal meeting and issued the warning to the manager for bringing the issue to me in the first place. Shame on you Australian media and even Bob Brown for attacking Penny Wong's view in this matter. And Shame on me for listening to them and forming my opinion based on their comments alone.



In future I'm going to do my best to research things more thoroughly before placing judgement on people. Knowing both sides of a story and drawing a logical reasonable response certainly has a lot to be said for it. If for nothing else, it removes that embarrassment factor.

Smart Laughs

I once booked a ticket to see Judith Lucy at the International Melbourne Comedy Festival. I was so excited I started busting out the 'well I don't know about you, but the last time I...' jokes well in advance. I was with my great friends Trace and Inge.

On the night Judith was sick :-( This was devastating news as you could imagine. I was actually quite upset about it. We decided we were out for some comedy at one of the best comedy festivals in the world, so lets just do it. We went back to the ticket both and exchanged our ticket for Judith to one for Jamie. Jamie Kilstein was doing a show called 'There's no God, and that's ok'. It turned out to be the best comedy routine I had ever seen. He was amazing! I often go back and watch some of his stuff just to remind me of how crazy the world is.

This isn't the exact show I went to see but if you are up for a great laugh and enjoy some clever political humour, click here!

Why do we let footballers speak?

I've been reading a whole bunch of stuff on Jason Akermanis and his recent departure from the Western Bulldogs (I am amazed that I know that much about this issue to be honest). Apparently the club could not continue his contract because let's face it, the man has a mouth on him and he says some really dumb stuff. He was a risk to the club and if you ask me a risk to the public.

My argument on this is closely linked to my argument on Mel Gibson. Sports players are paid to do exactly that. Play sport. Footballers in particular do not need to be very intellectual and nor should we expect them to. We want them to be athletic, team players who can get the ball across the line. My confusion exists when we let them speak on issues that they just shouldn't comment. Football shows like 'the footy show' are fine, for as long as they just talk about football (snore), and are not OK when they try to tackle other issues or treat woman like trash. But much of what Akermanis spoke on had little to do with football. We let his views on the world be published in our media and we either cheered him on or criticised him for what he said. But really, we shouldn't take any notice of him at all... He is paid to play football and from his comments, obviously has little to offer beyond that.

OK so the Mel Gibson spin. He made that movie 'Passion of the Christ' because he wanted the world to have a better appreciation for what he believed happened during the terrifying hours of the bibles story of Jesus. He pushed this religious agenda and claimed to be high and mighty. The Christian world then stood up and applauded his courage and passion for their cause. Now we realise the man is a pig. The comments he made to his ex partner, whether he was in a heated conversation or not, were completely unacceptable.

Here's the weird thing. Mel is an actor. His brain is trained to be whoever he is being asked to be. When he can strategically make some money or gain some power or influence by playing a 'role' he would obviously do it. It's his job to be what someone wants him to be and not to actually reflect what he personally feels or thinks. Same with models and in most respects, same with politicians (who in my view are often failed actors).



So in a Western society where we accept a culture that would hold up celebrity and say these are our role models and people who we look up to, I would say, why? Why do we allow these people to be role models for our children or community. They are not particularly bright or have much to say with any reasonable content (there are some rare exceptions to this rule). They're pretty, but also pretty boring. They don't think for themselves most of the time which makes them a bit of a puppet and usually what they say reinforces stereotypes and stops us as a community from truly being liberated and growing and developing to better understand what the future has for us.

In my view (which I admit is limited) some of the difficult decisions we face today (how we solve world hunger, what do we do with illegal boat people, how we manage human rights) often are not that difficult. There is a logical reasonable solution to many of these issues. The problem is we let the people who are not all that bright spend time and money talking about it instead of having the courage to do something about it.

And that, my dear friends, is why I applaud the Western Bulldogs. People who criticise their move and claim we just want footballers without character or personality are completely spot on. We just want people who play football to be on our football teams and not people who want to use it as a communications platform to spread their sexist views and bigotry.

Holidays are important. I just did realise how important.

It's amazing how time can fly by and all of a sudden you can be 6 years into your career without a break of more than 5 days. My last holiday was to Noosa about 2 years ago for 5 days. The plans were great. Three nights in a standard room at a pleasant place and then one special night in a ritzy room at the Sheraton so we can drink cocktails in the pool.

We flew up on Tiger airways (mistake) and arrived to wet weather. The wet weather stayed four of the five days which was not perfect. My friend got food poisoning on the first night and was sick for the rest of the holiday and then had personal issues to deal with on the last day. Needless to say it was particularly unpleasant. The whole thing flew past and I was exhausted. At that time I decided holidays were too hard so I just preferred to be in the rhythm of work.

Lately I've been depressed, stressed out and all together falling apart. These are not common for me, I really didn't know much about depression until now and the reason it confused me was because I couldn't even work out why I was feeling this way at all. I've taken some natural remedies to help with the situation but last week a friend invited me on a holiday to Cairns for a week in September. A winter escape to sit back and soak up the rays. Basically it will be a week of beach, pool, food, day spas, art galleries, relaxation.



Even making the plans to go away has dramatically affected the way I see the world. All of a sudden the whole thing seems worthwhile. Waking up everyday and going to work is just that little bit more bearable. I can only imagine what the feeling of actually being there will be like.

It has highlighted to me though how important it is to recognise when you are burning out and just stopping for a bit to relax. I'm terrible at this and I think just having a plan for your next holiday is something that dramatically will alter your thoughts about how you address everyday life. Especially if the holiday is one where you are just relaxing and not trying explore new countries and cities (cause then it actually becomes stressful again)...

Just an observation...

Recruitment is a bitch!

Ever wondered what you would be doing if you weren't doing what you currently do? Neither do I, but if I did, I think it would be an interesting thought. I've always wanted to be inspirational. I want to have copious amounts of wisdom and when I speak I don't want to just entertain people but I've always wanted to move people. One of the biggest gifts anyone can give me is surprisingly not anything of monetary value (although I am partial to shiny things). No, the biggest gift someone can give to me is to tell me that when I spoke to them at a certain point in their life, it gave meaning to something they used to take for granted; or that I provided a perspective they hadn't considered and it was helpful; or that it made them think twice before doing something they would have regretted.

More than wanting to be inspiring, is my want to be inspired. I want to have people to look up to who are amazing. Passionate and fun, but effective and impactful. I love to learn off others and when I find these people, I carefully work out how to stick myself to them until I've successfully learnt everything I can from them. I actually think that the only people that interest me are people who are passionate. Passion is not something you teach or learn, but it's something within us which compels us to do something or say something. What is a surprise, is where you often find passion. Some great examples for me are:
- At the aquarium in Perth. There was the most amazing girl who was explaining to me how the baby turtles found themselves in one of their ponds. She was absolutely entrenched in what she loves, marine life.



- At an LPG (gas) terminal in the outskirts of Adelaide. When you find someone getting excited about bottled gas and delivering it to customers, you've truly found someone special.



- My Dad. He has always been so passionate about learning just stuff. He is particularly fond of electronics but his burning desire to learn stuff he didn't realise he didn't know is always inspiring for me... He also loves sharing what he learnt, which I also love. We all need to be good story tellers I reckon.
- People who like football. I never understood this, but people travel very long distances to stand in grand stands and cheer on people who kick balls up and down a field. Often people love this more than anything else, especially when done with family and friends.



- The man at the train platform who tells jokes through the PA just to brighten everyones day. I mean talk about making the best out of a bad situation right?

What the hell has this got to do with recruitment? not sure...

BUT! I have been looking for what I want to do next in my career. I've been stuffed around for over a month by recruiters and companies who all want to sell me their passion and inspiration, but what I've come to realise is that they actually don't have a terrible lot in stock. Tomorrow I have an interview with a company who apparently live and breath this stuff. Their story? Selling experiences with family and friends as part of rewards at work, instead of a Myer gift voucher. If I'm ever going to start on this journey of making an impact and being inspired AND inspirational, I reckon I may have found a good starting point.

I hope that very shortly I can tell the recruiters to stick their jobs and find myself in what I would be doing if I wasn't caught here in this Corporate Australian mess.

PS. thank god no one reads this and I don't have to report back if I don't get it...

Verdict: Work Conferences

I just received the agenda for our conference tomorrow and Friday. I must say that I really love the idea of a conference. Coming together as one big group, learning what we all get up to and focusing our efforts on what we are here to achieve. We get to build relationships, be surprised and delighted and most importantly, be inspired. Inspired to deliver our best work, to enjoy working in our roles and understand how this fits into the broader strategy and reason for being.

After reading the agenda, I must say I'm a little disappointed. It appears that this conference won't be better than the one we had two years ago, probably even worse. There will be cameras on the middle of the table (I've just literally been told) so we can take photos of all the fun we're having and they can add it to newsletters to show everyone how well we all get on. The budget has been completely taken away so there will be no inspiring talks this time or fancy dinners. We are probably going to sit in a big circle and play childish games and call it bonding or 'ice breakers'.

Alas, it really will be a great big waste of time I think. Besides the boozy (but cheap) dinners and the casual carry on (which of course is always good), I suspect the content won't be great.

All my conference experiences have been average at best and a nightmare at worst. I have hope that one day I will get the conference of my dreams, but that hope is seeping away as the years flow by...

Am I the only one who feels this way about work conferences???

Verdict: Groups

People live in groups, they work in groups and they play in groups. We like to think we belong to a group of people in one way or another. It gives a sense of belonging and makes us feel good about belonging. We often see minority groups sticking together in likeness to achieve a feeling of normality. Even weird or scary people usually hang out with other weird or scary people just to 'fit in'.

I think this is probably good for us. All throughout the animal world this is supremely common. I have no problem with it at all, but I was talking to a friend yesterday about friend circles. We have absolutely different approaches to friends and I can't work out which is better.

Approach 1: I don't belong to any certain 'group' of friends. I have friends and they often belong to groups of people but I don't feel like I fit in any one of them. There are the circus friends, the 'good time' friends, the family friends, the Melbourne kids, the Brisbane peeps (the last two are obviously groups by default), then the work friends etc... I usually like one or two people from each group a lot and often keep in touch mostly with just that one or two people. I don't mind this approach because you remain fiercely independent. You don't rely on any one group for your happiness and are quite happy to flit about which whom you please, when you please. The only problem is when you feel you don't identify with any one group and feel a bit left out in the cold.

Approach 2: This is the 'SATC' girls or the guys from 'friend's'. Will and Grace, Seinfeld, Brothers and Sisters etc... Pretty much most TV shows (Dawson's creek, the OC you could go on for ever). This is the tight group. Your happiness and sadness is in direct correlation to the happiness and sadness of that group. You stick together like glue and know everything about each other. I had this sort of thing in highschool but then went through a difficult time afterwards when everyone back stabbed each other and I was left with no one. My friend takes this approach and although he is often fraught with nervousness about how he fits in or who gets the most out of it, I sense he gets a real satisfaction of knowing this is who he is and this is where he belongs. He knows exactly what role he is to play and plays it well. Problems exist when he tries to break free and have friends exclusive from the group or break unsaid group rules. Jealousy erupts and demands are made on who gets invited to what.

I think both approaches have something to be said for it. I've seen both work remarkably well and often over many years. But when push comes to shove I'm far too terrified to land just in that one group, I'm not going to rule it out entirely, but the risks of popping everything in one basket is just far too much.

I'd be interested to know anyone's thoughts on this...

On Gay Marriage...

Just click here, my friend Amy Stox has nailed this one to the wall.

Nice Job Ams.

The more I look into it...

Religion is incredibly bad for us in so many ways. I started my journey into religion as a born again Pentecostal Christian and bought into this way of living for about 3 years. I learnt about all the good things the bible has to say, how you should love everyone including your enemy and turn the other cheek and all that. All good stuff. I learnt how to be humble, how to think more about others (sort of) and how to appreciate the simple stuff in life. I also learnt how to serve both the church and others and volunteered on a regular basis for a whole range of different activities (driving buses, collecting the offering, heading to schoolies week to look after drunk teenagers and so on...).

I don't go to that church anymore because whilst it was overwhelmingly abundant in people who were same sex attracted, it demanded that these people suppress these feelings as they were of the devil. Since then I've also learnt that until recently the church didn't allow women to speak from the pulpit (and in some churches this is still the case). Poor woman were also taught (and still are) that they should be obedient to their husbands; to let the husband make the difficult decisions and be supportive of that; and to ensure they maintain their 'position' in the family (cook and clean no doubt). I learnt that different races (particularly of colour) weren't treated equally by the church and that they based this on scripture. I learnt that there is a whole bunch of hateful, dark and evil shit in the bible which is the book they hold up and say is written by their God. Yet somehow I sort of missed that bit when I was diligently learning about it. Not too sure how they managed to gloss over that. If their God really did write that book, and Christians acted in the way that they did, then God is a freaken Arsehole.

My point is, the more I objectively view the church and religion as a whole, the more I tend to hate it. What is obvious to me (and I suspect to any reasonable person) is when a debate is started between atheists and christian's, it is a very rare occasion that the christian is able to cite a reasonable answer to any question of substance. Often when it's too hard to answer or makes no logical or practical sense at all, the line 'it's about faith' is rolled out (snore). Search 'ABC Q&A God, Science and Sanity' on itunes for a very clear example. They actually appear very uneducated and unconvincing on the very topic they 'stand for'.

I've never considered myself an atheist but rather agnostic. The more I want to believe in something more though, the more I find unsatisfying answers on this stuff. A perfectly reasonable person would have to say that religion is actually a very mentally disturbing condition which is far more evil and damaging that the so called 'mental disability' of being homosexual.

I pose to you this. If someone out of the blue came up to you and started telling you about Christianity without ever having heard it before, would you not think they are completely ridiculous? Changing water to wine; walking on water; being dead for three days and then just marching on out of that tomb; eating apples from trees and turning the human mind evil who then need to be controlled and condemned. I mean it is absolutely absurd. But because we've been told from a young age that this is a belief system we should respect and believe in ourselves (well... some of us) we just let it pass. Ironically, we're told that homosexuals are unnatural and we should not accept this as a normal, equal and important part of society and some of us believe that too even though deep down we actually have no problem with it. I dream of a day when you can be in a mixed crowd (including openly gay people) where people are more concerned that others think they're christian than gay. There is something worth being worried about.

What a fucked world we live in.

Thoughts on Julia

There has been heaps of talk about Julia Gillard, what she wears, who she dates, what gender she is, and her views on children, family, God and same sex marriage. I've gone through heaps of stuff. You see I really like that she's a women and I love that we give that attention. Far too much time is spent by middle age white men telling us that it is not important; but of course it is.

It's the first time a woman has held the top job. The first time a woman can now call the shots for this great country. My honest opinion is that we should give women 120 years to have a go at managing Australia and see if they can do a better job than the men who have gone before her. Only then can we say we were completely balanced, equal and fair in our representation in public office. Of course this means that we need to get better at equality from within the government as well, not just the top job.

I love that she's a woman. I love that she has red hair. I love that she is a Welsh Migrant. These things I really love. But if I could have one other small request, it would be that she was lesbian as well.

I believe that gay rights are one of the largest human rights issues in the world today. We've dealt with the fact that we were arseholes to women, to slaves, to different races and are now acting to improve the quality of life for these people. Where there is a complete lack of action is in the area of gay rights in this country and in the 42 Commonwealth nations that still outlaw this 'way of life'. We need to be forward thinking in this area because in a hundred years time our great grandchildren will learn about our prejudice and hate for minority groups and won't be able to understand or believe the amount of bigotry that happens today. And we don't want that, we want them to think we are cool and changed things to what makes logical humane sense, now and forever.

But anyways, Julia. She reckons she isn't going to change her view on same sex marriage, an important part of treating homosexuals as legitimate citizens, that's ok Julia. When you decide to be a lesbian, we'll talk again.

Read this article, completely rad.