When I think about people that inspire others, I find they often have a range of common attributes. I've reflected on these and I think the key things I've noticed are:
1. They know their story - They know where they have come from and what their story is. They usually reflect upon this and allow the learnings in their own life contribute to the value they add to others lives.
2. They know what they stand for - Not only do they have a clear view on the key issues they stand for, but they can also be humble enough to acknowledge when they don't have a view or when their view is wrong.
3. They're passionate - Passion is an amazing thing. When it's there people recognise it and respond to it. It motivates and engages us (and others) to push through, even in the tough times (think Mother Theresa)
4. They are usually 'others focused' - Few people inspire others by being self focused. Naturally, others are inspired by work which makes the world a better place.
5. They have a sense of comfort in themselves - We are all insecure about things in our life, sometimes about a lot of things. People who inspire others and who I think are extraordinary find comfort in accepting themselves and demonstrating self compassion.
6. They have time for other people - The most interesting thing I've learned about the most extraordinary people in my life is that they always have time for me (and others). People who are too busy being important to spend time with people, very rarely are important or extraordinary. Extraordinary people see the value in spending time with others and do it regularly.
This is not an exhaustive list, you probably notice things about extraordinary people as well, but these are usually the things I notice.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
The kids are alright. Same-sex Parents.
Mid to late last year I went on a holiday to Cairns with my bestie Teebs. We went to see a movie (just because we could, don't you love holidays!) called 'The kids are alright'. The movie is about a lesbian couple raising two children and the children then meeting their biological father. It was an uncomfortable viewing for Teebs and I as we wriggled in our seat and bit our lip at the every stereotypical but generally correct moment. I think after the movie we were silent for about half an hour as we digested all the different themes and moments we could relate to, and the others which we couldn't (yet).
It was probably the first time I had considered what it would be like to be a same-sex parent, or even more interesting, what it would be like growing up with same-sex parents. And I don't mean 'what it would be like' as in when you look at family photos, there would be two men or two women as the parents. I mean, every morning you wake up, you have breakfast at the table, you take the kids to school and go to work, you attend parent-teacher interviews together, you take the kids to sports on the weekend, you celebrate birthdays and so on... I mean the actual practicality of everyday living as a same-sex parent.
As something that is heavily debated in society today, it is something I've been reluctant to have a view on, probably just because I'm not close enough to know what it is like or I haven't met very many people who have gone through it.
An interesting study that was released in the US journal 'Pediatrics' last year found that children raised by lesbian couples generally have greater academic success, higher self-esteem and fewer behavioural problems than children who grow up with heterosexual parents. The research may find some very surprising findings and perhaps our society is not quite ready for that kind of information just yet, but interestingly it has been quite a long time coming given the study was conducted over a very long period of time (couples who took part were recruited between 1986 and 1992 with their 78 children now in their late teens).
The people who conducted the study also commented that each child within the study is the 'product of careful planning and a considered desire for motherhood'. There are also some other interesting findings from the study including the benefits of learning about diversity and tolerance at an early age and dealing with prejudice as apart of life rather than being 'protected' as much as possible until we are forced to deal with it.
As my step-brother finishes his jail sentence and looks forward to meeting his three children to two different women which surprised us all (including him), I must say there is something to be said for same-sex couples who have to go through a very detailed planning process (beyond getting drunk and having an 'accident') before being blessed with a new life to care and nurture for. The research seems to indicate that these children do tend to do better at life and fill the world with more of what we need (in my view).
See the film if you're interested, it's a thought provoking flick.
It was probably the first time I had considered what it would be like to be a same-sex parent, or even more interesting, what it would be like growing up with same-sex parents. And I don't mean 'what it would be like' as in when you look at family photos, there would be two men or two women as the parents. I mean, every morning you wake up, you have breakfast at the table, you take the kids to school and go to work, you attend parent-teacher interviews together, you take the kids to sports on the weekend, you celebrate birthdays and so on... I mean the actual practicality of everyday living as a same-sex parent.
As something that is heavily debated in society today, it is something I've been reluctant to have a view on, probably just because I'm not close enough to know what it is like or I haven't met very many people who have gone through it.
An interesting study that was released in the US journal 'Pediatrics' last year found that children raised by lesbian couples generally have greater academic success, higher self-esteem and fewer behavioural problems than children who grow up with heterosexual parents. The research may find some very surprising findings and perhaps our society is not quite ready for that kind of information just yet, but interestingly it has been quite a long time coming given the study was conducted over a very long period of time (couples who took part were recruited between 1986 and 1992 with their 78 children now in their late teens).
The people who conducted the study also commented that each child within the study is the 'product of careful planning and a considered desire for motherhood'. There are also some other interesting findings from the study including the benefits of learning about diversity and tolerance at an early age and dealing with prejudice as apart of life rather than being 'protected' as much as possible until we are forced to deal with it.
As my step-brother finishes his jail sentence and looks forward to meeting his three children to two different women which surprised us all (including him), I must say there is something to be said for same-sex couples who have to go through a very detailed planning process (beyond getting drunk and having an 'accident') before being blessed with a new life to care and nurture for. The research seems to indicate that these children do tend to do better at life and fill the world with more of what we need (in my view).
See the film if you're interested, it's a thought provoking flick.
"Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
I read a column in a paper today about the 'Pirates vs. Navy' concept. The concept was about how you roughly fit into one of the two camps. You either follow the laws, appreciate status-quo, and do what society tells us to do, whilst maintaining order. You live for obedience, organisation and control (Navy) OR... you are adventurous, have no regard for the way things 'ought' to be, do what you think is right rather than what you are told is right. You take risks. You do things first and then ask for forgiveness later (Pirate).
The article stated that as we get older, we often become far more Navy. Even more interesting, as we get older we actually appreciate Navy far more than we do Pirates. It also suggested that Pirates have more fun. When I think about the most fun I've ever had, it's probably when I've had my pirate hat on. Overall I think I would like to be considered a Pirate, but I'm probably a Navy. Perhaps a Pirate in a corporate, Navy world.
The attached video is an advertisement from Apple in 1997 which I think reflects the Pirate concept well. It's also inspiring. Once upon a time, a niche, mostly broke and destined for failure tech firm appreciated the pirate concept. Now they are close to being the most influential and valuable company in the world.
What can you change? Who can you impact? What can you make better? When can you dust off your Pirate outfit and take a risk again in the hope that it will pay off?
The article stated that as we get older, we often become far more Navy. Even more interesting, as we get older we actually appreciate Navy far more than we do Pirates. It also suggested that Pirates have more fun. When I think about the most fun I've ever had, it's probably when I've had my pirate hat on. Overall I think I would like to be considered a Pirate, but I'm probably a Navy. Perhaps a Pirate in a corporate, Navy world.
The attached video is an advertisement from Apple in 1997 which I think reflects the Pirate concept well. It's also inspiring. Once upon a time, a niche, mostly broke and destined for failure tech firm appreciated the pirate concept. Now they are close to being the most influential and valuable company in the world.
What can you change? Who can you impact? What can you make better? When can you dust off your Pirate outfit and take a risk again in the hope that it will pay off?
Saturday, February 12, 2011
On being "Good Enough"
If I woke up late
Couldn’t get out of bed
If I bought you a café latte instead
If I lied when I said 32 inches was the size of my waist
And if I admit every once in a while
Even though I dig alternative style
Occasionally I can be caught dancin’ to Brittany
And can I confess
That art house doesn’t turn me on
But I like every single thing that Speilberg’s done (Except A.I.)
Could I be good enough?
Could I be good enough?
If the going got worse and the worse got rough
The days became endless and harder than tough
I’d be good enough
Better than best would be simply to be good enough
If everything I give doesn’t seem like a lot
If it’s all that I got
Baby tell that could be good enough
Where I grew up
The rent was cheap
But we always had enough to eat Didn’t have fancy clothes
I never really cared coz there were shoes on my toes
And motherly love
I knew it like the back of my hand
She always had a way to make me understand
I could be good enough?
I could be good enough?
If the going got worse and the worse got rough
The days became endless and harder than tough
I’d be good enough
Better than best would be simply to be good enough
If everything I give doesn’t seem like a lot
If it’s all that I got
Baby tell me that could be good enough
Coz I don’t know which way this road is gonna turn
But I know it’s gonna be fine
But there are some days no matter how much I’ve learned
That the road gets tough
And I don’t feel good enough
But if you’re giving me some of that loving
Could you pass some over
Let me cry on your shoulder and tell me baby
I could be good enough
If I lost my job
And my hair fell out
If I made no sense
And I scream and shout
Would you laugh at me?
Never take a word I say seriously And if I’m out in the cold
Waiting in the back of the line
Too afraid to drop my name for fear of decline
Could you tell me I’m good enough? Could I be good enough?
If the going got worse and the worse got rough
The days became endless and harder than tough
I’d be good enough
Better than best would be simply to be good enough
If everything I give doesn’t seem like a lot
If it’s all that I’ve got
Baby tell me that could be good enough
I need to know that I could be good enough
Because everybody wants to feel good enough
Show me baby
Tell me
Come on a prove it baby
Give it to me
- Darren Hayes -
Couldn’t get out of bed
If I bought you a café latte instead
If I lied when I said 32 inches was the size of my waist
And if I admit every once in a while
Even though I dig alternative style
Occasionally I can be caught dancin’ to Brittany
And can I confess
That art house doesn’t turn me on
But I like every single thing that Speilberg’s done (Except A.I.)
Could I be good enough?
Could I be good enough?
If the going got worse and the worse got rough
The days became endless and harder than tough
I’d be good enough
Better than best would be simply to be good enough
If everything I give doesn’t seem like a lot
If it’s all that I got
Baby tell that could be good enough
Where I grew up
The rent was cheap
But we always had enough to eat Didn’t have fancy clothes
I never really cared coz there were shoes on my toes
And motherly love
I knew it like the back of my hand
She always had a way to make me understand
I could be good enough?
I could be good enough?
If the going got worse and the worse got rough
The days became endless and harder than tough
I’d be good enough
Better than best would be simply to be good enough
If everything I give doesn’t seem like a lot
If it’s all that I got
Baby tell me that could be good enough
Coz I don’t know which way this road is gonna turn
But I know it’s gonna be fine
But there are some days no matter how much I’ve learned
That the road gets tough
And I don’t feel good enough
But if you’re giving me some of that loving
Could you pass some over
Let me cry on your shoulder and tell me baby
I could be good enough
If I lost my job
And my hair fell out
If I made no sense
And I scream and shout
Would you laugh at me?
Never take a word I say seriously And if I’m out in the cold
Waiting in the back of the line
Too afraid to drop my name for fear of decline
Could you tell me I’m good enough? Could I be good enough?
If the going got worse and the worse got rough
The days became endless and harder than tough
I’d be good enough
Better than best would be simply to be good enough
If everything I give doesn’t seem like a lot
If it’s all that I’ve got
Baby tell me that could be good enough
I need to know that I could be good enough
Because everybody wants to feel good enough
Show me baby
Tell me
Come on a prove it baby
Give it to me
- Darren Hayes -
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Living for that one little moment.
I've been planning a world trip. A holiday if you like. Three holidays perhaps, all squished into one. Typical of me, an all or nothing approach to seeing the world, or at least a great big chunk.
While the thought of taking three months out to travel the world sounds like complete fun, all the work in getting to the point where you are at the airport, is more like hard work.
First of all you have to work out where to go. With only pop culture setting our path (thanks Lilo and Stitch for the Hawaii suggestion), we just found a map and pointed. It's probably going to work out great. We have all the movie quotes that we need to say in all the right places. But working out where to go is just the beginning.
Two travel agents, 5 combinations of different airlines and about 5 x 1 hour meetings later, we finally landed on Virgin Atlantic to take us most of the way. Brilliant, flights booked and paid for. The trip is almost done. WRONG!
Picking the right tour for Europe was a trick. What if you hate the people, the bus, the accommodation, where they take you etc... Taking advantage of a couple of anxiety attacks, we managed to land on a 37 day tour with Top Deck. Probably a bit long, but if you're going to Europe, you've really gotta do it. Great, well it's almost done. WRONG!
What about America and Hawaii? It's half of the whole trip. Where are we going to stay? what are you going to do? How will it work? So we spend another couple of sessions with the travel agent and booked a few grand in travel. The places look amazing, exactly how you want your accommodation to look.
I'm being a realist now. I know we aren't even close. We've spent $12k and haven't taken off yet. I know we still have travel insurance, bags, clothes, spending money etc... to take care of. It's going to almost be a full time job as it gets closer.
But still, I keep dreaming of that first 10 minutes. We've taken off, we have a glass of bubbly in hand. 3 Months ahead of us. No work. No Winter. The thoughts of how that will feel is enough to get me through all the planning and work up until that one moment. And its going. to. be. GREAT!
While the thought of taking three months out to travel the world sounds like complete fun, all the work in getting to the point where you are at the airport, is more like hard work.
First of all you have to work out where to go. With only pop culture setting our path (thanks Lilo and Stitch for the Hawaii suggestion), we just found a map and pointed. It's probably going to work out great. We have all the movie quotes that we need to say in all the right places. But working out where to go is just the beginning.
Two travel agents, 5 combinations of different airlines and about 5 x 1 hour meetings later, we finally landed on Virgin Atlantic to take us most of the way. Brilliant, flights booked and paid for. The trip is almost done. WRONG!
Picking the right tour for Europe was a trick. What if you hate the people, the bus, the accommodation, where they take you etc... Taking advantage of a couple of anxiety attacks, we managed to land on a 37 day tour with Top Deck. Probably a bit long, but if you're going to Europe, you've really gotta do it. Great, well it's almost done. WRONG!
What about America and Hawaii? It's half of the whole trip. Where are we going to stay? what are you going to do? How will it work? So we spend another couple of sessions with the travel agent and booked a few grand in travel. The places look amazing, exactly how you want your accommodation to look.
I'm being a realist now. I know we aren't even close. We've spent $12k and haven't taken off yet. I know we still have travel insurance, bags, clothes, spending money etc... to take care of. It's going to almost be a full time job as it gets closer.
But still, I keep dreaming of that first 10 minutes. We've taken off, we have a glass of bubbly in hand. 3 Months ahead of us. No work. No Winter. The thoughts of how that will feel is enough to get me through all the planning and work up until that one moment. And its going. to. be. GREAT!
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