This Weekend...

I get to return to my birth place for a quick visit.



I'm going to eat, drink and dance. I'm going to spend time with some new friends and catch up with some old friends. I'll get to run a muck around my old hometown with shiny new eyes and enjoy it for it's great weather and climate.

What's best of all, I'll get to return to my new home. A place I'm FINALLY starting to enjoy.

Happy Friday Blogger.

Be Inspired, Get Creative! And for heaven's sake, show up.

This post is for Monday mornings. This woman wrote the best seller 'Eat, Pray, Love'. Here she talks on nurturing creativity and the pressure we put on creatively gifted people. An attempt to try and understand the creative process. Here's hoping that my magic fairies soon show up to give me my burst of brilliance.

I really like her, and I really like what she had to say. I hope you do too...

Remaining Balanced in Judgement

In all my experience in case management (managing naughty employees) there is one thing that holds true every time. There are two sides to every story and the truth ALWAYS lies someplace in the middle. I remember getting dragged into meetings with management as they tell me how horrible an employee has been. How they have behaved inappropriately; how they have ignored reasonable requests and been downright distracting to the rest of the team. I used to immediately jump into action, handing out warnings to anyone who would listen to me.

What usually would eventuate is the employee would present a whole bunch of facts which were once unknown to me (strategically left out by the manager) which would either lesson the seriousness of the issues or completely eliminate them. This often resulted in some form of embarrassment to me and the manager. You would think then that I would not be quick to judge people when someone gives me their point of view on a person or their actions.

Turns out I do...

Example 1:
Recently Catherine Deveny lost her job as a columnist at The Age in Melbourne because of comments she made through Twitter during the Logies. The comments made by her were absolutely appalling. Sexually referencing Bindi Irwin, referring to Rove McManus' new wife and hoping she doesn't 'die like the last one'. You get the idea. Not nice stuff. Immediately I got on my high horse and judged her. I decided the women should be shunned from any media and that her actions were unforgivable. I felt her dismissal from The Age was completely warranted and serves her right for using her position to publicly say the things that she did.

Well.... again I took one side to the story and not once looked into her response. I did eventually come across her response to this. Surprisingly not on The Age, but rather the ABC. It's here if your interested.

In my view her response to why she acted in this way does not excuse her actions, as I still feel they were distasteful. BUT!!!! if you were to read anything Catherine Deveny had written in the last 10 years you would realise the context in which this was written. Deveny is a controversial feminist writer who believes strongly in equality for woman and the right for young ladies to not be exposed as sexual beings until they are of the right age or feel ready. Her comments were in jest to make a point.

Now when I look at this issue from a balanced perspective I think it was irrational to act on the matter to the extent The Age did but also realise why they felt forced to act in this way. I certainly don't think it is unforgivable and actually, I now follow her Twitter account and look out for her articles on the ABC. She's a very good writer.




Example 2:
Penny Wong. An Asian Lesbian Member of Federal Parliament on the front bench as the Minister for Climate Change. I previously thought she was fantastic representation. A great communicator and role model. As early as yesterday I found out that Penny Wong did not support Gay Marriage and 'toed the party line' of Labor which believes in Marriage between a man and a women which shouldn't be changed because of 'cultural, religious and historic' reasons. I was quite frustrated at this and immediately thought less of her. I wondered how someone could possibly sit in parliament as a Lesbian and not stand up for the equality of all minority groups including homosexual Australians. I decided I had no interest in her any further and considered her shameful to the GBLT community.

WELL... Last night I stumbled across 'Q and A' on the ABC (good stuff by the way, an interesting program). Funnily enough Penny Wong was apart of the panel debating different issues. A lady from the audience questioned Penny's view on same sex marriage and asked her why she supported Labor on this issue.

Penny's response bought silence to the panel and audience (for the first time in the hour long program). Penny made reference to the fact that she knows first hand what it is like to be at the hand of discrimination. The Herald Sun reported it accurately:

"By virtue of who I am, prejudice and discrimination are things I have firsthand knowledge of," she told ABC television on Monday.

"When I entered the parliament, I did actually think very carefully about how to handle being Asian and gay and in the parliament, because it hadn't been done before."

Senator Wong said that before entering public life, she decided to be "absolutely open" about who she was.

"Part of the reason I did that was because I thought it was very important to show that you should never be ashamed of who you are," she said.

As the first federal member of parliament from an Asian descent and as a Lesbian she has been subjected to discrimination both before and during her time in parliament. During her parties time in government she has seen a dramatic shift in the rights of GBLT Australians. She then rattled off a whole range of things done by the Labor government to remove the amount of discrimination against this minority group. She then went on to say that she believes that a team player is exactly that. She respects the views of her peers in this matter and at this time would support them in their views. She then got questioned by another member in the audience which put Penny in an even more difficult position when some guy on her right (Richo I think) jumped in to her defence to explain how she is only one person in a caucus of people and that whilst she does her best challenge their views in this area, at this time Labors view on marriage remained unchanged. The Herald Sun again:

"I'm amazed somewhat by these questions, really," he said.

Labor's policies to help gay de facto couples would not have happened without Senator Wong's place in the government, Mr Richardson said, adding that many ALP members were opposed to the homosexual civil rights measures.

Hmmm... I hadn't provided a second of thought to how it must feel to be Penny Wong on the front bench of the Labor government. I didn't sympathise with the challenges coming her way for even a moment. I jumped in to judge her and wrongly so. Her performance on 'Q and A' was one of the best I've seen in a Minister for a very long time and her response to why she felt this way, in my view, was completely justified. I'm not saying I agree with Labor's view on this, because I absolutely don't, but I do now understand her point of view. Had this been an employee warning meeting, I would have cancelled the formal meeting and issued the warning to the manager for bringing the issue to me in the first place. Shame on you Australian media and even Bob Brown for attacking Penny Wong's view in this matter. And Shame on me for listening to them and forming my opinion based on their comments alone.



In future I'm going to do my best to research things more thoroughly before placing judgement on people. Knowing both sides of a story and drawing a logical reasonable response certainly has a lot to be said for it. If for nothing else, it removes that embarrassment factor.

Smart Laughs

I once booked a ticket to see Judith Lucy at the International Melbourne Comedy Festival. I was so excited I started busting out the 'well I don't know about you, but the last time I...' jokes well in advance. I was with my great friends Trace and Inge.

On the night Judith was sick :-( This was devastating news as you could imagine. I was actually quite upset about it. We decided we were out for some comedy at one of the best comedy festivals in the world, so lets just do it. We went back to the ticket both and exchanged our ticket for Judith to one for Jamie. Jamie Kilstein was doing a show called 'There's no God, and that's ok'. It turned out to be the best comedy routine I had ever seen. He was amazing! I often go back and watch some of his stuff just to remind me of how crazy the world is.

This isn't the exact show I went to see but if you are up for a great laugh and enjoy some clever political humour, click here!

Why do we let footballers speak?

I've been reading a whole bunch of stuff on Jason Akermanis and his recent departure from the Western Bulldogs (I am amazed that I know that much about this issue to be honest). Apparently the club could not continue his contract because let's face it, the man has a mouth on him and he says some really dumb stuff. He was a risk to the club and if you ask me a risk to the public.

My argument on this is closely linked to my argument on Mel Gibson. Sports players are paid to do exactly that. Play sport. Footballers in particular do not need to be very intellectual and nor should we expect them to. We want them to be athletic, team players who can get the ball across the line. My confusion exists when we let them speak on issues that they just shouldn't comment. Football shows like 'the footy show' are fine, for as long as they just talk about football (snore), and are not OK when they try to tackle other issues or treat woman like trash. But much of what Akermanis spoke on had little to do with football. We let his views on the world be published in our media and we either cheered him on or criticised him for what he said. But really, we shouldn't take any notice of him at all... He is paid to play football and from his comments, obviously has little to offer beyond that.

OK so the Mel Gibson spin. He made that movie 'Passion of the Christ' because he wanted the world to have a better appreciation for what he believed happened during the terrifying hours of the bibles story of Jesus. He pushed this religious agenda and claimed to be high and mighty. The Christian world then stood up and applauded his courage and passion for their cause. Now we realise the man is a pig. The comments he made to his ex partner, whether he was in a heated conversation or not, were completely unacceptable.

Here's the weird thing. Mel is an actor. His brain is trained to be whoever he is being asked to be. When he can strategically make some money or gain some power or influence by playing a 'role' he would obviously do it. It's his job to be what someone wants him to be and not to actually reflect what he personally feels or thinks. Same with models and in most respects, same with politicians (who in my view are often failed actors).



So in a Western society where we accept a culture that would hold up celebrity and say these are our role models and people who we look up to, I would say, why? Why do we allow these people to be role models for our children or community. They are not particularly bright or have much to say with any reasonable content (there are some rare exceptions to this rule). They're pretty, but also pretty boring. They don't think for themselves most of the time which makes them a bit of a puppet and usually what they say reinforces stereotypes and stops us as a community from truly being liberated and growing and developing to better understand what the future has for us.

In my view (which I admit is limited) some of the difficult decisions we face today (how we solve world hunger, what do we do with illegal boat people, how we manage human rights) often are not that difficult. There is a logical reasonable solution to many of these issues. The problem is we let the people who are not all that bright spend time and money talking about it instead of having the courage to do something about it.

And that, my dear friends, is why I applaud the Western Bulldogs. People who criticise their move and claim we just want footballers without character or personality are completely spot on. We just want people who play football to be on our football teams and not people who want to use it as a communications platform to spread their sexist views and bigotry.

Holidays are important. I just did realise how important.

It's amazing how time can fly by and all of a sudden you can be 6 years into your career without a break of more than 5 days. My last holiday was to Noosa about 2 years ago for 5 days. The plans were great. Three nights in a standard room at a pleasant place and then one special night in a ritzy room at the Sheraton so we can drink cocktails in the pool.

We flew up on Tiger airways (mistake) and arrived to wet weather. The wet weather stayed four of the five days which was not perfect. My friend got food poisoning on the first night and was sick for the rest of the holiday and then had personal issues to deal with on the last day. Needless to say it was particularly unpleasant. The whole thing flew past and I was exhausted. At that time I decided holidays were too hard so I just preferred to be in the rhythm of work.

Lately I've been depressed, stressed out and all together falling apart. These are not common for me, I really didn't know much about depression until now and the reason it confused me was because I couldn't even work out why I was feeling this way at all. I've taken some natural remedies to help with the situation but last week a friend invited me on a holiday to Cairns for a week in September. A winter escape to sit back and soak up the rays. Basically it will be a week of beach, pool, food, day spas, art galleries, relaxation.



Even making the plans to go away has dramatically affected the way I see the world. All of a sudden the whole thing seems worthwhile. Waking up everyday and going to work is just that little bit more bearable. I can only imagine what the feeling of actually being there will be like.

It has highlighted to me though how important it is to recognise when you are burning out and just stopping for a bit to relax. I'm terrible at this and I think just having a plan for your next holiday is something that dramatically will alter your thoughts about how you address everyday life. Especially if the holiday is one where you are just relaxing and not trying explore new countries and cities (cause then it actually becomes stressful again)...

Just an observation...

Recruitment is a bitch!

Ever wondered what you would be doing if you weren't doing what you currently do? Neither do I, but if I did, I think it would be an interesting thought. I've always wanted to be inspirational. I want to have copious amounts of wisdom and when I speak I don't want to just entertain people but I've always wanted to move people. One of the biggest gifts anyone can give me is surprisingly not anything of monetary value (although I am partial to shiny things). No, the biggest gift someone can give to me is to tell me that when I spoke to them at a certain point in their life, it gave meaning to something they used to take for granted; or that I provided a perspective they hadn't considered and it was helpful; or that it made them think twice before doing something they would have regretted.

More than wanting to be inspiring, is my want to be inspired. I want to have people to look up to who are amazing. Passionate and fun, but effective and impactful. I love to learn off others and when I find these people, I carefully work out how to stick myself to them until I've successfully learnt everything I can from them. I actually think that the only people that interest me are people who are passionate. Passion is not something you teach or learn, but it's something within us which compels us to do something or say something. What is a surprise, is where you often find passion. Some great examples for me are:
- At the aquarium in Perth. There was the most amazing girl who was explaining to me how the baby turtles found themselves in one of their ponds. She was absolutely entrenched in what she loves, marine life.



- At an LPG (gas) terminal in the outskirts of Adelaide. When you find someone getting excited about bottled gas and delivering it to customers, you've truly found someone special.



- My Dad. He has always been so passionate about learning just stuff. He is particularly fond of electronics but his burning desire to learn stuff he didn't realise he didn't know is always inspiring for me... He also loves sharing what he learnt, which I also love. We all need to be good story tellers I reckon.
- People who like football. I never understood this, but people travel very long distances to stand in grand stands and cheer on people who kick balls up and down a field. Often people love this more than anything else, especially when done with family and friends.



- The man at the train platform who tells jokes through the PA just to brighten everyones day. I mean talk about making the best out of a bad situation right?

What the hell has this got to do with recruitment? not sure...

BUT! I have been looking for what I want to do next in my career. I've been stuffed around for over a month by recruiters and companies who all want to sell me their passion and inspiration, but what I've come to realise is that they actually don't have a terrible lot in stock. Tomorrow I have an interview with a company who apparently live and breath this stuff. Their story? Selling experiences with family and friends as part of rewards at work, instead of a Myer gift voucher. If I'm ever going to start on this journey of making an impact and being inspired AND inspirational, I reckon I may have found a good starting point.

I hope that very shortly I can tell the recruiters to stick their jobs and find myself in what I would be doing if I wasn't caught here in this Corporate Australian mess.

PS. thank god no one reads this and I don't have to report back if I don't get it...

Verdict: Work Conferences

I just received the agenda for our conference tomorrow and Friday. I must say that I really love the idea of a conference. Coming together as one big group, learning what we all get up to and focusing our efforts on what we are here to achieve. We get to build relationships, be surprised and delighted and most importantly, be inspired. Inspired to deliver our best work, to enjoy working in our roles and understand how this fits into the broader strategy and reason for being.

After reading the agenda, I must say I'm a little disappointed. It appears that this conference won't be better than the one we had two years ago, probably even worse. There will be cameras on the middle of the table (I've just literally been told) so we can take photos of all the fun we're having and they can add it to newsletters to show everyone how well we all get on. The budget has been completely taken away so there will be no inspiring talks this time or fancy dinners. We are probably going to sit in a big circle and play childish games and call it bonding or 'ice breakers'.

Alas, it really will be a great big waste of time I think. Besides the boozy (but cheap) dinners and the casual carry on (which of course is always good), I suspect the content won't be great.

All my conference experiences have been average at best and a nightmare at worst. I have hope that one day I will get the conference of my dreams, but that hope is seeping away as the years flow by...

Am I the only one who feels this way about work conferences???

Verdict: Groups

People live in groups, they work in groups and they play in groups. We like to think we belong to a group of people in one way or another. It gives a sense of belonging and makes us feel good about belonging. We often see minority groups sticking together in likeness to achieve a feeling of normality. Even weird or scary people usually hang out with other weird or scary people just to 'fit in'.

I think this is probably good for us. All throughout the animal world this is supremely common. I have no problem with it at all, but I was talking to a friend yesterday about friend circles. We have absolutely different approaches to friends and I can't work out which is better.

Approach 1: I don't belong to any certain 'group' of friends. I have friends and they often belong to groups of people but I don't feel like I fit in any one of them. There are the circus friends, the 'good time' friends, the family friends, the Melbourne kids, the Brisbane peeps (the last two are obviously groups by default), then the work friends etc... I usually like one or two people from each group a lot and often keep in touch mostly with just that one or two people. I don't mind this approach because you remain fiercely independent. You don't rely on any one group for your happiness and are quite happy to flit about which whom you please, when you please. The only problem is when you feel you don't identify with any one group and feel a bit left out in the cold.

Approach 2: This is the 'SATC' girls or the guys from 'friend's'. Will and Grace, Seinfeld, Brothers and Sisters etc... Pretty much most TV shows (Dawson's creek, the OC you could go on for ever). This is the tight group. Your happiness and sadness is in direct correlation to the happiness and sadness of that group. You stick together like glue and know everything about each other. I had this sort of thing in highschool but then went through a difficult time afterwards when everyone back stabbed each other and I was left with no one. My friend takes this approach and although he is often fraught with nervousness about how he fits in or who gets the most out of it, I sense he gets a real satisfaction of knowing this is who he is and this is where he belongs. He knows exactly what role he is to play and plays it well. Problems exist when he tries to break free and have friends exclusive from the group or break unsaid group rules. Jealousy erupts and demands are made on who gets invited to what.

I think both approaches have something to be said for it. I've seen both work remarkably well and often over many years. But when push comes to shove I'm far too terrified to land just in that one group, I'm not going to rule it out entirely, but the risks of popping everything in one basket is just far too much.

I'd be interested to know anyone's thoughts on this...

On Gay Marriage...

Just click here, my friend Amy Stox has nailed this one to the wall.

Nice Job Ams.

The more I look into it...

Religion is incredibly bad for us in so many ways. I started my journey into religion as a born again Pentecostal Christian and bought into this way of living for about 3 years. I learnt about all the good things the bible has to say, how you should love everyone including your enemy and turn the other cheek and all that. All good stuff. I learnt how to be humble, how to think more about others (sort of) and how to appreciate the simple stuff in life. I also learnt how to serve both the church and others and volunteered on a regular basis for a whole range of different activities (driving buses, collecting the offering, heading to schoolies week to look after drunk teenagers and so on...).

I don't go to that church anymore because whilst it was overwhelmingly abundant in people who were same sex attracted, it demanded that these people suppress these feelings as they were of the devil. Since then I've also learnt that until recently the church didn't allow women to speak from the pulpit (and in some churches this is still the case). Poor woman were also taught (and still are) that they should be obedient to their husbands; to let the husband make the difficult decisions and be supportive of that; and to ensure they maintain their 'position' in the family (cook and clean no doubt). I learnt that different races (particularly of colour) weren't treated equally by the church and that they based this on scripture. I learnt that there is a whole bunch of hateful, dark and evil shit in the bible which is the book they hold up and say is written by their God. Yet somehow I sort of missed that bit when I was diligently learning about it. Not too sure how they managed to gloss over that. If their God really did write that book, and Christians acted in the way that they did, then God is a freaken Arsehole.

My point is, the more I objectively view the church and religion as a whole, the more I tend to hate it. What is obvious to me (and I suspect to any reasonable person) is when a debate is started between atheists and christian's, it is a very rare occasion that the christian is able to cite a reasonable answer to any question of substance. Often when it's too hard to answer or makes no logical or practical sense at all, the line 'it's about faith' is rolled out (snore). Search 'ABC Q&A God, Science and Sanity' on itunes for a very clear example. They actually appear very uneducated and unconvincing on the very topic they 'stand for'.

I've never considered myself an atheist but rather agnostic. The more I want to believe in something more though, the more I find unsatisfying answers on this stuff. A perfectly reasonable person would have to say that religion is actually a very mentally disturbing condition which is far more evil and damaging that the so called 'mental disability' of being homosexual.

I pose to you this. If someone out of the blue came up to you and started telling you about Christianity without ever having heard it before, would you not think they are completely ridiculous? Changing water to wine; walking on water; being dead for three days and then just marching on out of that tomb; eating apples from trees and turning the human mind evil who then need to be controlled and condemned. I mean it is absolutely absurd. But because we've been told from a young age that this is a belief system we should respect and believe in ourselves (well... some of us) we just let it pass. Ironically, we're told that homosexuals are unnatural and we should not accept this as a normal, equal and important part of society and some of us believe that too even though deep down we actually have no problem with it. I dream of a day when you can be in a mixed crowd (including openly gay people) where people are more concerned that others think they're christian than gay. There is something worth being worried about.

What a fucked world we live in.

Thoughts on Julia

There has been heaps of talk about Julia Gillard, what she wears, who she dates, what gender she is, and her views on children, family, God and same sex marriage. I've gone through heaps of stuff. You see I really like that she's a women and I love that we give that attention. Far too much time is spent by middle age white men telling us that it is not important; but of course it is.

It's the first time a woman has held the top job. The first time a woman can now call the shots for this great country. My honest opinion is that we should give women 120 years to have a go at managing Australia and see if they can do a better job than the men who have gone before her. Only then can we say we were completely balanced, equal and fair in our representation in public office. Of course this means that we need to get better at equality from within the government as well, not just the top job.

I love that she's a woman. I love that she has red hair. I love that she is a Welsh Migrant. These things I really love. But if I could have one other small request, it would be that she was lesbian as well.

I believe that gay rights are one of the largest human rights issues in the world today. We've dealt with the fact that we were arseholes to women, to slaves, to different races and are now acting to improve the quality of life for these people. Where there is a complete lack of action is in the area of gay rights in this country and in the 42 Commonwealth nations that still outlaw this 'way of life'. We need to be forward thinking in this area because in a hundred years time our great grandchildren will learn about our prejudice and hate for minority groups and won't be able to understand or believe the amount of bigotry that happens today. And we don't want that, we want them to think we are cool and changed things to what makes logical humane sense, now and forever.

But anyways, Julia. She reckons she isn't going to change her view on same sex marriage, an important part of treating homosexuals as legitimate citizens, that's ok Julia. When you decide to be a lesbian, we'll talk again.

Read this article, completely rad.