Mid to late last year I went on a holiday to Cairns with my bestie Teebs. We went to see a movie (just because we could, don't you love holidays!) called 'The kids are alright'. The movie is about a lesbian couple raising two children and the children then meeting their biological father. It was an uncomfortable viewing for Teebs and I as we wriggled in our seat and bit our lip at the every stereotypical but generally correct moment. I think after the movie we were silent for about half an hour as we digested all the different themes and moments we could relate to, and the others which we couldn't (yet).
It was probably the first time I had considered what it would be like to be a same-sex parent, or even more interesting, what it would be like growing up with same-sex parents. And I don't mean 'what it would be like' as in when you look at family photos, there would be two men or two women as the parents. I mean, every morning you wake up, you have breakfast at the table, you take the kids to school and go to work, you attend parent-teacher interviews together, you take the kids to sports on the weekend, you celebrate birthdays and so on... I mean the actual practicality of everyday living as a same-sex parent.
As something that is heavily debated in society today, it is something I've been reluctant to have a view on, probably just because I'm not close enough to know what it is like or I haven't met very many people who have gone through it.
An interesting study that was released in the US journal 'Pediatrics' last year found that children raised by lesbian couples generally have greater academic success, higher self-esteem and fewer behavioural problems than children who grow up with heterosexual parents. The research may find some very surprising findings and perhaps our society is not quite ready for that kind of information just yet, but interestingly it has been quite a long time coming given the study was conducted over a very long period of time (couples who took part were recruited between 1986 and 1992 with their 78 children now in their late teens).
The people who conducted the study also commented that each child within the study is the 'product of careful planning and a considered desire for motherhood'. There are also some other interesting findings from the study including the benefits of learning about diversity and tolerance at an early age and dealing with prejudice as apart of life rather than being 'protected' as much as possible until we are forced to deal with it.
As my step-brother finishes his jail sentence and looks forward to meeting his three children to two different women which surprised us all (including him), I must say there is something to be said for same-sex couples who have to go through a very detailed planning process (beyond getting drunk and having an 'accident') before being blessed with a new life to care and nurture for. The research seems to indicate that these children do tend to do better at life and fill the world with more of what we need (in my view).
See the film if you're interested, it's a thought provoking flick.
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