A life of unlearning.

I just finished reading this book. If you haven't read it, I suggest you do. It's the story of man who spends a lot of his life living a lie and conforming to a religion before finally having to face up to his reality in a very brutal and difficult way.

Like most books I read, I often find one page stands out more than any other. In this book, it was when the author spoke about spending his entire life unlearning all the things that were untrue in his life and the new things he found himself learning. I found it quite insightful and thought that there is probably something in this for us all.



"Looking at my life, I realised that I'd spent the last fourteen years of my life unlearning, unlearning everything I believed about myself. I had to unlearn in order to discover the truth. And this is what I discovered:

I am a good person. (embarrassingly simple but for years difficult to acknowledge).
I wasn't sick or in need of healing - there was a wholeness in me waiting to be discovered.
I wasn't broken or in need of fixing.
I wasn't an abomination to God - I was equal to every other human being who walks the planet and deserves the respect and rights that brings with it.
It wasn't homosexuality that had kept me bound but others' beliefs I embraced myself. I had learnt that homosexuality is not a curse but a blessing, a precious gift given to approximately somewhere between four to ten percent of the population - that I should celebrate.
I didn't need to change, just accept.
Being a homosexual didn't mean being tormented; as a gay man I could find peace and resolution.
As a homosexual I was not destined to a life of loneliness; reward and fulfillment come to everyone, gay or straight, who is being true to themselves.
I didn't need someone else or a relationship to make me happy; I could find happiness and completeness in myself.
Homosexuality is not an act, it's an identity.
Saying you know the 'truth' makes everyone who thinks differently to you wrong, and puts you in the dangerous position of never being open to learning anything new.
Forgiveness brings transformation and freedom.
God is unfathomable.
I had learnt that I am not a human being having a spiritual experience but a spirit having a human experience.
My great discovery is that my alienation was a precious gift of freedom. Inside the safety of the city walls it's easier not to risk embarking on a journey of self-discovery. However, when you are rejected and thrust beyond the city walls you are forced to find out who you are. What some outsiders discover on the other side is the courage to renounce self-contempt and the rules that others have made (I especially like this bit). At the moment a person questions the validity of the rules, the victim is no longer a victim.

Finally, in life's journey you are never off the path. Every detour, dead end, back alley, even road wrecks, looked at with insight are a possible part of a greater master plan."
- Anthony Venn-Brown -